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Clare then turned to Alex her eldest son and asked him to forgive her for leaving him when she divorced John. She explained that she did not think she could bring up two boys on her own and that she had asked John to take Alex while she had Justin for their early years. We were so pleased she had spoken to Alex for he had always found it difficult to understand why he had been separated from his brother.

That night was Clare’s last for she died the following morning. It is hard for others to understand what had happened for we had been so close to our lovely daughter that evening. Though it was our saddest day it was our happiest for everything had been put right. As Sophie had told me She bet Auntie Clare would get into heaven for that!

When Pamela and I returned to Clare’s cottage after she died we found that she had put all the cards and letters I had sent her during those last few months on every wall of the place; they were everywhere in the lounge,diningroom, bathroom, hall landing everywhere! And so was her love for me. We could feel it everywhere something we never forget, NOT EVER.

The first spring following Clare’s death we went to attend to her grave and say a prayer. We had Justin with us but we couldn’t find the spot, we all searched but the grass had returned and the whole area of the church yard was a carpet of primroses!! I think we all were convinced with our feelings God is God. He might seem to to be slow at times, He might seem to be slow at times but certainly he makes it all right in the end. Clare was truly home were she belonged. She didn’t need a marker where she was. We stayed awhile at the spot that we thought must be her grave, it was clear she was near to us, we could feel it and it was that same love that we had found on the walls of her cottage, Then there was that last smile she had given us last October.

Pamela and I have our moments of tears and sadness yet usually they are made up for moments of real happiness too. Take for example when Pamela had bought some trays of winter pansies. We had planted them all round the garden and they had just about taken root. Little Andrew and Sophie came in from the garden a week later with a basket full of Pansies they had cut all the flower tops off.

They handed them to Pamela saying,. “These are for Aunty Clare!. How could we be cross with such a lovely gift even if we thought they had killed the Pansies So Pamela put these flowers in a bowl of water. Do you know something within three days our Panies had reflowered twice a big than the first blooms. We’ve seen such love and happiness from our children, I never knew I could love them so much.

We had to return a number of times to Clare’s cottage to clean up and prepare it for sale. Sometime before her death Alex her elder son had moved out of his father’s house and gone to live with his girl Wendy. They lived at Wendy’s parents house in Sholing near Southapton. We were concerned for he was only 17 years old and having only just left school. However Wendy’s parents were really lovely people and when we got to know her we realised they were serious about each other something which has been proved now they are married. Justin Clare’s youngest had gone to stay with his father and Angy Alex’s step mother the year or so before when Clare had been taken ill the first time but though they tried to get him to settle in a school in Southampton he just wasn’t happy and he returned to Devon and again after Clare got out of hospital he lived with his mother.



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